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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Yeah, the tone is spot on. Love that last paragraph. ‘ … a mere twenty five pounds’ & the disclaimer at the end. (Am hoping ‘self help’ is left in for another week. Good idea of Alva’s!)
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Thanks, Marie.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Thanks Sian. ‘ … easy to miss what’s under the sticky wrapper.’ made me smile.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Thanks Alva. Always pleased to make someone want to cry.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Great flash, Louise. Particularly liked the astronaut simile. the passing youth shouting from the car and the hopeful ending with ‘walking off her despondency’.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Clever stuff, Bill. Poor unlucky Archie! And I particularly like that ‘certainly not Donald’ line.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
I reckon you have a novel here, Alva.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 42, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
From Sweeties to Savoury
It could be my first memory, or at least the most memorable. The one I’ve reinforced by recalling, strengthened in oft-telling. Didn’t tell anyone at the time but I’ve made up for it re […]
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 41, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
‘And then I strangled the guy.’ Haha! Great take on the prompt, Steve.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 41, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Ah, sweet story, Alva. I like Mr. Shiny Shoes. And yes, you should definitely be next week’s guest host. 😉
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Thanks Sian. We have a ‘celebrity’ by marriage in our family, whose shopping trolley often gets scrutinised by ‘fans’. She’s not a chef but she’s fat & they’re probably looking to see whether she’s dieting or […]
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Thanks, Marie! Have to confess (don’t tell will you? 😉 ) Priscilla is the ‘reluctant celebrity chef’ main character of my novel-in-progress so its extra good to hear this. She’s featured in a previous story here […]
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Lazy yeah but no one else had the cheek to do it and that WAS Steve’s original idea.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Sad and kind of scary. Memory loss and memories being taken. Great ending as the memories briefly flood come back, only to be gone once more.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Good use of the prompt line. Thanks for using mine! But … poor Daisy. Hazy memories from long ago, sad, full of regret and a great ending where she thinks she sees her.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Fantastic use of this excellent prompt line, as you go on to match it, echo it and use it to expand the character. The second line immediately following it matches it; bodes well, I thought. I like the ‘spider […]
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
This is funny, Daisy. (Welcome back!) Clever use of the prompt line. Like the way you twisted it. The characters of these rather pathetic men are well observed. The reality of the story is revealed gradually and […]
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Stunning piece without a wasted word. The sort that needs repeat readings in order to unpick. Great use of second person narrator drawing the reader in with questions. I particularly like the repetition of the […]
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Such an atmospheric piece, Voima. The pervading sadness of returning home with the subtlest hints of the character’s backstory and relationship with her father.
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Sal Page commented on the post, Microcosms 40, on the site Microcosms 8 years, 1 month ago
Haha! ‘Clear as plastic’. Butch Halliday is a hero. I’m wondering if we’ll see more of ‘Sally Scott’s Stories of Working Men and Women’ some day, Bill.
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