Kelli Johnson

Aha, I love the voices! “three-quarters swallowed” made me snort. I love the combo of detective lingo and fairy tale, nice work.

Title: What Remains
300 words
Apocalypse Survivor / Hidden/Unexplored Place / Sci-Fi
Kelli Johnson
I am open to derivative works

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Boom.

The charge goes off, the pulse rattling me in my crane operator’s box—then, the lightning crack of splitting stone, as the outer shell of the bunker crumbles.

“Not so impenetrable after all,”…[Read more]

This story is very lyrical, the repetition of contrasting imagery almost hypnotic. Very interesting idea! Maybe I would’ve used semicolons to separate some of the phrases, but then again, I’m a semicolon fiend haha. Nice work!

Love the horror vibes! You really set the tone well by going slow in the beginning.

Haha, this story has a great sense of character right from the start. I could picture George.

Very nice! I like how it’s just a vignette of a scene, yet it balances atmosphere with backstory quite efficiently.
A few lines like “He got dubious” and “Perhaps he was saved” strike me as unnecessary explanations of the character’s mindset, but beyond that I really like the story~