33 responses to “Microcosms 7”

1. 

   Bill Engleson

   12 February 2016

   Home Body

   I finally had to get down on my one good knee.

   “Will you,” I beseeched.

   Eleese turned her back.

   “I don’t know,” she teased. “I’m not sure you really want to.”

   “But I do, I really do,” I confessed.

   In my line of work, well, it’s more a trade considering the tool kit I carry,

   slogging away on the road, l don’t always make it home.

   Each project takes careful planning.

   I was finding it necessary to be…grounded.

   Plotting, scheming and murder can be…murder on your health.

   A man needs an appreciative wife, a clean house, three squares a day…when he’s home.

   She eventually said yes.

   I’ve never been happier.

   Serial killer; wedding; comedy
   @billmelaterplea
   110 moments of wedded bliss

   Reply
2. 

   Carlos

   12 February 2016

   Little Girl’s Dreams

   The ringing in Ken’s ears caused by the gunshot hadn’t yet subsided. The crimson bud above the groom’s navel began blossoming into a full bouquet. The groom held it tightly against his ivory vest and fell to his knees.

   “Why?” he asked.

   “You were at death’s gate. You just didn’t know it,” the Wedding Murderer said, knowing it was the truth.

   The groom fell on his side, and the petals pooled on the floor around him.

   ***

   The bride’s eyes brightened at the sound of the shot. Ken had beaten her to the first kill. She smiled. Now she would be able to enjoy her wedding.

   Serial Killer. Wedding. Comedy
   105 words
   @goldzco21

   Reply
   1. 

      Carlos

      12 February 2016

      On the last sentence can I have the first “she” (after the word “now”) changed to the name Barbie. Thank you Moderator(s).

      Reply
3. 

   Sal Page

   12 February 2016

   Bless Him

   He got down on one knee. My heart leapt. But it wasn’t a proposal. His shoelace was undone. He stood up, realised just from looking at my face, then knelt back down and asked. Bless him. Our wedding was a month later.
   So considerate. When he comes in late he’s careful not to wake me. He puts his clothes in the machine, remembers to buy flowers on our anniversary. Fifty years today.
   I had no idea what he was up to. A complete surprise. Of course I visit. Got to send a Valentine’s this weekend.
   Sure, he killed twenty-three women but he’s always treated me like a Queen, bless him.

   Serial killer – wedding – comedy
   @SalnPage
   110 Words
   #FlashDog

   Reply
   1. 

      Geoff Holme

      13 February 2016

      Sparse but neatly told tale, Sal. Looks like a winner!
      (“But it wasn’t a proposal. His shoelace was undone.” HA!)

      Reply
   2. 

      Cath Barton

      13 February 2016

      Sweetly told!

      Reply
4. 

   Holly Geely

   12 February 2016

   Wedding Killer
   @hollygeely
   110 words
   Elements: wedding, serial killer, comedy

   Another wedding was about to be ruined.

   Not even Ronald himself knew why; whether it was the pretty white dress or maybe the dancing.

   He was like those people who cry at weddings, except his urge was to maim and destroy. The need to rend flesh bubbled up somewhere between “Do you” and “I do.” The newlyweds kissed, everyone applauded, and Ronald went berserk.

   Blood dribbled down his chin. Horrified guests stared at him. He couldn’t stop.

   None of the others had a chance.

   “I told you not to invite the Wedding Killer,” said the irritated groom.

   Ronald murderated every meat the buffet had to offer, until nothing was left.

   Reply
   1. 

      Geoff Holme

      12 February 2016

      “Murderated”, Holly? Peter Mark Roget must be turning in his grave… 🙂

      Reply
5. 

   A V Laidlaw

   12 February 2016

   @AvLaidlaw
   108 blows to the heart
   Serial Killer / Wedding / Comedy

   The Valentine’s Day Massacre

   We call him the Valentine’s Day Massacre. Twenty years hunting this sicko and the bile rises in my gut whenever we find another victim. The profile is always the same – a wedding guest found with a precise incision down the chest and their heart shredded.

   He can strike anyone: the groom’s ex-girlfriend, an obsessive fan at celebrity nuptials, the bride’s friend with his letters, tear-stained confessions of love, unrequited, never sent. Didn’t stand a chance against this killer.

   Remember, if you dream of someone, if your pulse quickens when you see them smile, call our hotline now.

   Don’t be the next victim of the Valentine’s Day Massacre.

   Reply
6. 

   Geoff Holme

   12 February 2016

   @GeoffHolme
   #FlashDogs
   Word Count: 110
   Elements: Musician / Restaurant / Comedy

   We Don’t Talk Any More

   “Waiters, waiters, everywhere! And not a drop to drink.”

   “It’s ‘Nor any drop to drink’. Another misquote.”

   “Wh-why’re they called waiters? We do the bloody waiting!”

   “We need to talk – about us.”

   “We’re fine. You’re fine, I’m fine… or I will be, once I get another Scotch!”

   “You’ve had enough to drink. Have some Perrier.”

   “English, eh? I’ve had enough to drink… you offer me water!”

   “You think we’re fine, but you always say there’s room for improvement; or is that just those damn lyrics you tinker with?”

   “You’re vitriol is wasted… As am I! …Oh! Leaving? Love you too, sweetheart! …Where’s my notepad? I feel a song coming on.”

   Reply
7. 

   A.J. Walker

   12 February 2016

   A Hot Bath
   A.J. Walker

   The girl, who could be Jill, took off her ring and put it in the box with the other six before manourvering Dave towards the bath.

   Dave was urgently trying to recall whether he’d dropped some acid the night before.

   He looked at the ring on his finger. His mother would have been proud. Briefly.

   “Mrs Crosby,” Jill said, “It’s got a nice ring to it.”

   Dave’s face was crimson.

   “Mr Crosby, meet Mrs Hydrofluoric Acid-Bath,” she said.

   Dave’s crimson morphed to white as the vapour above the bath burnt his nose hair.

   Dave’s dad decided it was time to interject. “So, you’re not going for the traditional vows then?”

   —
   WC 110 words
   Serial killer/ wedding / comedy

   Reply
   1. 

      Geoff Holme

      12 February 2016

      No spellchecker, AJ? It’s “manoeuvring” according to the OED.

      Reply
      1. 

         A.J. Walker

         12 February 2016

         That’s the problum with tiping up these stories on the fone Mr Home.

         Still, yu got the jist!
      2. 

         Sal Page

         12 February 2016

         I always want to spell it Man-hoovering. Call the police, Geoff! 😉
      3. 

         Geoff Holme

         12 February 2016

         Man-hoovering? Would that be Henry, perchance? 🙂
8. 

   Bill Engleson

   12 February 2016

   Wedded Miss- A Sonnet of Sorts

   On the day I was to finally wed,
   my stunning bride turned up awfully dead,

   flattened like glass by our wedding cake,
   a tad under cooked, an immense mistake.

   Three hundred pounds of chocolate fudge,
   had buried her deep in soggy cake sludge.

   As I scrambled to be close to her side,
   the breath gurgled from my dear dying bride.

   I scraped the goop from her fudgied face,
   her dress tarnished tan, such pleasing white lace.

   I cradled her soft in my toffeed arms,
   recollected her droll pre-bonbon charms.

   The cops swooped in, said, “Tough luck, old bean,
   Please leave the room. This is our crime scene.”

   107 moments of love tragically underbaked and overwrought
   @billmelaterplea
   Groom; crime scene; poem

   Reply
9. 

   Voima Oy

   12 February 2016

   My Gothic Valentine
   @voimaoy
   104 words
   bride/blind date/horror

   We have never met, but I have dreamed of this day, and my dark lover, his back toward me as I walk down the aisle in my long white dress. I carry a bouquet of black roses. The thorns stab my fingers, drops of red pearls.

   My pulsing heart beats in time to the music–a pipe organ playing, a rising crescendo. The aisle stretches infinitely. Faces in the crowd follow me, beaming smiles. He turns toward me, and I recognize him now. He is the death of me, waiting, waiting. I feel the needles of his kiss, the poison blooming like a flower.

   Reply
10. 

    Voima Oy

    12 February 2016

    Last minute edit–could you swap needles for burning? If not, that’s okay…

    Reply
11. 

    Stephanie Ellis

    12 February 2016

    My Memorial Diamond

    110 words
    Elements: jeweller, flower shop, horror

    @el_Stevie
    #FlashDog

    The furnace was at optimum temperature, the gem’s setting burnished by its reflected glow. All that was needed was the jewel itself. Henry allowed his eyes to wander from his work to the flower shop across the road. Maria was working late.

    She looked up as he entered, the blush he had cultivated creeping readily over her.

    Ninety minutes for a human to be turned to ash, he thought, nine months to birth a jewel.

    “A rose by any other name,” murmured Henry, allowing his finger to trace her cheek, her jaw … her throat. “A diamond in the rough.”

    He pressed harder. Soon she would be his for eternity.

    Reply
12. 

    Stella Turner

    12 February 2016

    @stellakateT
    #FlashDog
    Serial killer, Wedding, Comedy
    108 words

    The monk stood before the altar. Marlon wondered if he was on Cheryl’s side, no one remotely religious in his family unless you counted Uncle Bob who always called on God when he placed a bet. Cheryl was wondering the exact same thing perhaps he was Auntie Sadie’s guest, she had a real weird taste in men.

    Brother Luke eyed up the bridesmaids, four of them in sickly pink. By the end of the day maybe two would go home from the reception. The other two would get to see God, two funerals and a wedding not bad for the start of the year, could break his record.

    Reply
    1. 

       Stella Turner

       12 February 2016

       whoops forgot to include the title…… lets call it ‘ The Monk’

       Reply
13. 

    Avalina Kreska

    12 February 2016

    @KreskaFiction
    109 stabs
    Elements: wedding|serial killer|comedy

    Title: A Cutting Remark

    ‘They said ‘I do’ and that was the last I saw of ‘em.’
    ‘Someone said they look different now, yunno, incognito’
    ‘Not surprised, everyone would recognise their ugly mugs!’
    ‘Who’da thought that those two would marry?’
    ‘Do you think they both kill separately or together?’
    ‘Together I reckon. Yeah.’
    ‘Lucky bastards.’
    ‘One could hold while the other cut…’
    ‘Stop it. We’ve all been doing so well – we shouldn’t…’
    …
    ‘OK – could everyone take their seats please – now – who’d like to go first this week?’
    Ted stood up, fiddling with the key-chain on his trousers.
    ‘My names Ted; I’m a serial killer, it’s been five years since I last killed someone.’

    Reply
    1. 

       Avalina Kreska

       12 February 2016

       oh – that’s wedding/serial killer/comedy (I put it wrong way round)

       Reply
       1. 

          Avalina Kreska

          12 February 2016

          Damn! I mean serial killer/wedding/comedy (don’t hate me)
14. 

    Craig A

    12 February 2016

    Stupid Cupid

    My brother gets all the credit, especially this time of year. No-one appreciates my work. Relationships have a habit of lingering long after the love is gone. I’m the one that kills them swiftly, to end the suffering.

    Weddings are my nemesis. Love is in the air, enough to bolster even the worst couples. I spot my targets at the bar. He’s sleeping with his secretary and she’s banging the tennis coach. So cliche.

    I take aim and loose my black arrows. They hit their mark and the shouting begins.

    On the way out I spot someone’s husband eyeing up a bridesmaid. The work of Dipuc is never done

    110 words
    @todayschapter
    Elements: wedding|serial killer|comedy

    Reply
    1. 

       Geoff Holme

       12 February 2016

       “Dipuc”! HAR! HAR! But I thought “TIME is a straight black arrow”. (Very appropriate given the recent anthology launch by Flash Dogs…)

       Reply
    2. 

       Geoff Holme

       13 February 2016

       Er… aren’t you co-judging this round, Craig? If so, I assume this entry is “just for fun”.

       Reply
       1. 

          Craig A

          13 February 2016

          Yes absolutely – sorry should have made that clear in my entry!
15. 

    Brady Koch

    12 February 2016

    Wedding Day Tradition

    He’d reviewed the checklist on the way to the Chapel O’ Love, but he swore something was missing. He scanned the crumpled paper as his bride drunkenly stumbled down the aisle.

    Something old. . .

    The locket from the dead waitress in Des Moines. Check.

    . . . something new . . .

    The wedding bands from the smash and grab in Phoenix. Check.

    . . . Something borrowed. . .

    He supposed his fiance’s blood-flecked pumps from the massacre in Tulsa were loaners. Check.

    . . . something blue.

    Hmmm. That was the one. He scanned their officiant Elvis. The impersonator’s turquoise ring would have to be good enough. Edgar readied his knife to carve the thing off.

    wedding/serial killer/comedy
    104 words
    @BradyTheWriter

    Reply
    1. 

       Geoff Holme

       13 February 2016

       Black comedy, Brady. But if the bride follows the Wedding Day Tradition of the title, she would be female, therefore a financée. 😉

       Reply
       1. 

          Brady

          13 February 2016

          Rats. Perhaps I can use the typo to my advantage.
16. 

    Daisy Warwick

    12 February 2016

    @WarwickDaisy
    Words – 110
    Jeweler/ Deserted Highway/ Fantasy
    ‘Trade Hazards’

    Aqil grimaced as his first customer of the day parked their malodorous camel just inches from his display of shiny treasures.

    “Good Afternoon! How can I help you?” he asked, whilst a troll with only three teeth dismounted the wretched, noxious smelling creature.

    “I need to buy a genie,” the troll said.

    “For?” Aqil wasn’t surprised, it was a fairly common request.

    “Me want Herga to marry me,” grunted the troll.

    “I see. Well, forget the genie.” Aqil said, holding out his most impressive diamond.

    The troll cocked his head as the camel farted.

    “Perfect!” he said, making a grab for it as Aqil clutched his throat and lost consciousness.

    Reply
17. 

    dana faletti

    13 February 2016

    @danafaletti
    Serial Killer/Wedding/Comedy
    Words – 110
    The Groom Gunner

    “Here comes the bride, all fat and wide.” Tommy snickered, as his mom gave his ear a good yank.
    Ow
    “Smells like gunk in here,” he complained.
    “Tommy, if you don’t shush your mouth, I’m gonna call the boogey man.”
    Big whoop. The Boogey Man. That guy doesn’t make appearances at weddings.
    Tommy shoved a fat finger inside his nose to dig for something more interesting than his cousin in the dumb white dress. Boring.
    The moment he found the perfect booger, he heard someone scream.
    “The groom gunner! Run!”
    Near the altar was a masked guy in a baby blue tux, toting a big gun.
    Crap! The Boogey Man!

    Reply

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