RESULTS – Microcosms 91

Thanks to all who participated in Microcosms 91. There were 12 entries this week. Welcome to Microcosms, first-time entrant Ivan Budanov.

It’s the end of the third quarter in 2017… already? Once again, Angela Pacheco is the most consistent contributor with a perfect 13 out of 13. Bill Engleson would have joined you at the top of the podium, Angela, if he hadn’t made the mistake of becoming Judge’s Pick in round 86 and agreeing to judge the following week. The bronze medal position is taken by JK with entries submitted to 11 contests.

(With entries in 10 contests, Eloise is the only other Microcosms contributor in double figures.)

Please keep returning to Microcosms, and retweet / spread the word about this contest among your followers and friends.

Don’t forget that Microcosms exists primarily to provide a platform for the flash fiction community to hone their skills, and secondarily to give entrants a chance of receiving an accolade from that week’s judge. We also have the vote button for anyone, not just fellow entrants, to register their favourite/favorite(s) and thus establish a Community Pick.

Remember, you can reply with a comment to any and all of the entries AT ANY TIME: It’s good to have feedback.

MC 90 Judge’s Pick, Steph Ellis kindly agreed to act as judge for this contest. Here’s what she had to say:

Lovely to be allowed a week off from competing in Microcosms as having to come up with something original in a few hours on a Friday is always a real challenge. For me, it’s a luxury and a treat to read your stories and, as always, there was a wide variety of responses. So without more ado, here are my results…

Steph

 Favourite / Favorite Lines

Lucian Carter –Why on Earth would they assume a man dedicated to making children happy would want to be involved in mass murder?
Bill Engleson -I’ve pigeon-holed Evie Tucker in the canned meat and vegetable section of the Titcomb Valley Mercantile …
Steve Lodge – Your inventions seem as useless as soup on a stick.
Dave Allen – “…Seriously consider your actions when dealing with time travel,” I implored my visitor.
Jeff Messick – The Inventor’s sly smile vanished faster than the truth at a Liar’s Convention.
Angelique Pacheco – Barns on nearby farms lost their thatch roofs, rendering the cows inside rather dumbstruck.
Kelly Griffiths – Clark wiped a glistening trail of snot on his forearm, and tried to look wise.
JK – She dreamt that the people were like mannequins and she could push her needles into them like the tomato pin cushion on her sewing table…
Liz Elliott – “I am the inventor,” she said.
Ivan Budanov – ‘It’s a hat…for the monkey. Monkey’s like hats.’
M. Levi – “…If you smash through the prison wall we have to rearrest you for property damage.”
Nancy M Beach – Instead of the EXIT sign, there were numbers like a cell door, molded out of peanut butter.

 

Special Mention

Jeff Messick – Tales from the Slammer

Fake news v the truth. Who knows what’s what any more?

 

Honorable / Honourable Mentions

Bill Engleson – Josie Willowberry’s Titcomb Tattler: If You Didn’t Read it Here, It Isn’t Worth Reading

If you’ve ever lived in a rural community (and oh, have I ever), you’ll know the village busybody, the one who gets completely the wrong end of the stick and spreads it to all and sundry. The Josies of this world are to be avoided, but unfortunately that’s not always possible.

 

Lucian Carter – From Blammo!

I wouldn’t actually call this a comedy as it has such a tragic ending. I really feel sorry for the guy caught up in this situation. Even though his plan didn’t work, at least he showed guts in trying to thwart the bombers.

 

Second Runner-up

Angelique Pacheco – Tornados and Toilets

Toilet humour of the cleaner kind. I felt so sorry for that little old lady on the toilet being exposed in such a way, poor woman.

 

First Runner-up

Liz Elliott – Experiment at the World’s Fair

This little story took me in completely, building a world in so few sentences, and then suddenly making it vanish at the flip of a switch – flipping your view of reality at the same time. I also enjoyed the challenging of traditional male misconceptions, and the image of a woman totally in control.

 

And now, without further ado, we present the winners of Microcosms 91.

 

(insert drumroll here)

 

Community Pick

Bill Engleson – Josie Willowberry’s Titcomb Tattler: If You Didn’t Read it Here, It Isn’t Worth Reading

300 words
Gossiping Biddy; Rural Village; Comedy

“I wouldn’t say this normally, Evelyn, what with me being a body who knows how to mind her own business and mark my words, you know that’s the gospel truth because I only write what is irrefutable, but things …important things… just ain’t the same as they used to be.”

I’ve pigeon-holed Evie Tucker in the canned meat and vegetable section of the Titcomb Valley Mercantile because word come to me from I don’t want to say who but it is a generally reliable source that Evie’s been cozying up to a new family that recently pushed their way into Titcomb Valley.

“Well, Evie?” I pummel her with my usual approach when I’m seeking out the secrets of Titcomb Valley for my weekly column, The Titcomb Tattler, which has appeared in the Titcomb Golden Gazette for almost twenty-five years and is read by every thinking adult in the community.

And when I see her staring down at the bottom shelf where Henry Tuck stocks ancient cans of Pinto Beans that nobody I know is going to buy and avoiding my eyes like I’m a hypnotist, well, you can bet I know I am on to something.

And then she bursts into tears like a waterpipe snapped by the winter freeze and wails away with, “Oh Josie, I didn’t mean to, but they came up to me at church and invited me over to a barbecue and it just seemed to be the right thing to do, I mean Pastor Willis was going to be there and I forgot how you like to be the first to write up about the new folk…”

So, I tell her to stop babbling and tell me all about the barbecue.

Evie gets all giggly and we’re back on an even keel.

For now, anyways.

 

Judge’s Pick

Steve Lodge – The Blurred Echoes

A wonderful charge list of bizarrely(!) criminal inventions: a monkey shaver, jellyfish breeding tablets, cake in a shower, the First Lady’s wig. This is a witty and well-paced dialogue between the Professor and his lawyer. Great little piece of crime comedy.

300 words
Inventor; Jail; Crime

PROFESSOR FLUTE: You’re my lawyer. Get me out of here.

GORDON REDROBE: Ordinarily I’d say, no problem. But this jail’s the Fingernail Factory and you’ve pissed off lots of influential Belzonian people and institutions. Now, in other countries, you’d be as free as a bird and I’d be at my club winning a round of golf.

FLUTE: You really think so?

REDROBE: Of course. The golfers I play against are crap.

FLUTE: I mean my release. I’ve done nothing criminal.

(REDROBE opens the charge sheet).

REDROBE: Authorities beg to differ. Bathing Police want to speak about your “Cake You Can Eat In The Shower” device.

Belzon Animal Rights want to talk about your Monkey Shaver and the Jellyfish Breeding Tablets.

Your Tattoo Remover seems to be farm equipment.

First Lady wants a word about your Pancake Wigs. Her taller sister sprinkled lemon juice on the First Lady’s and ate it as they stood in line at a state function.

Food Beverage Institute (FBI) want to discuss the cheese-fondling gloves and your claims that your locally bottled water is “safe to wash your feet in.”

Your inventions seem as useless as soup on a stick.

Also, The Book Police are keen to torture you about your book “How To Weasel Out Of Things.”

FLUTE: But, it’s important to know how. It’s what separates us from the animals. Except the weasels.

REDROBE: Maybe, but the President’s name is Otto Weasel. And last but not first, your branded renaissance stew with vicious mustard recipe has decimated the Belzonian Navy, ending their quest to find the sea.

FLUTE: The country’s landlocked. They don’t need a Navy.

REDROBE: But they’re also the Army. You haven’t got an egg to stand on. Best we can hope for is you survive the torturing and they deport you.

 

Congratulations, Steve. As Judge’s Pick, you are invited to judge the next round of Microcosms. Please click HERE to let us know whether or not you are interested!

RESULTS - Microcosms 92
RESULTS - Microcosms 90
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6 comments for “RESULTS – Microcosms 91

  1. 2 October 2017 at 7:34 am

    Congratulations to all the winners and entrants and thanks to Steph Ellis for judging! 🙂

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  2. Profile gravatar of Jeff Messick
    2 October 2017 at 9:06 am

    Congrats winners! Looking forward to Friday!

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  3. Profile gravatar of Angelique Pacheco
    2 October 2017 at 11:21 am

    Thanks to everyone who runs this page. I really look forward to this every week!

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    • Profile gravatar of Geoff Holme
      5 October 2017 at 10:24 pm

      Thanks very much for this, Angelique. I was moaning to Mrs H. only a short while before the results were posted how everyone seems to congratulate the winners, those given an accolade, those who entered, and thanks the judge too, but no mention of all the staff at Microcosms Inc. and Microcosms plc (one woman and her bat / one man and his dog).

      [ But, to be fair, the fact that you come back every Friday, write great stories and poems, and/or share the love with the community by leaving comments on other people’s work is all that KM and I need to keep the ball rolling. ]

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  4. 2 October 2017 at 1:01 pm

    Time does seem to flash by. Writers and readers are always winners.

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  5. 2 October 2017 at 7:06 pm

    Congratulations to all the winners! Another fun week of flash fiction 🙂

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